Thursday, January 8, 2009

until yesterday

trying to put loose ends of the thread together, i will continue the blog i startrd last year, when i was thinking of becoming a nun.
Meanwhile i am a theravada buddhist nun, a mae chee in norther thailand.
I came with the intention to stay one year, to learn fairly enough about teaching meditation and to go back to teach.
When i told my teacher i will stay one year, i was asked:"why so short?".
the buddha taught to stay at least 5 years (for women only 2) with one's teacher and i understand now why he said so - and i'm prepared to face it. Even though i do sometimes think to just go back ...
A lot of things happend in the meantime. To make it short, we spend the rainy season in wat tam bua tong, had to move [bad monk, long story]. Stayed in samoeng, were chased out by a "peaceful" thaimonk with a broom and moved to wat suan pa. I had a wonderful sister. She disrobed for administrative reasons and will come back soon. I stayed at a big city monastery for almost 6 weeks, tried to convince myself that it is not too bad there. Very nice people, very good abbot and teacher, but noise from outside and inside the monastery, many people. My sister and i were very happy to join with our teacher again. But i am indeed very grateful that they helped me to get the one year visa and they knew that our stay there is of limited time.
I had some interesting insights, lost faith in the thai monkhood, with some exceptions of which my teacher is one, gained abslute faith in the buddha, and learned a lot.

1 comment:

Susanne said...

Come back soon and start teaching! You are the best teacher I ever met ...