Wednesday, January 28, 2009


All of my life i fought with and again peoples prejustice and views about how women are, ought to be.
In childhood i hatet to be a girl, hatet being stuffed in cute dresses, and was not very much interested in tipical girl's games and toy's.
I managed to be taken out of the cooking and sewing class for the girls and put in the boys class for handcrafts instead. :o) Oh, what a fight. and i refused to go to ballet but went to judo instead.

with 11 i suffered endless when the tits started to grow and boys said: we don't play with girls, girls are stupid. Suffered again, or still, when boys started to be interested again in girls but for another reason this time.

finally learned to be stronger than the men around me, generally.
Learned, later, to find some good points in being female - but somehow never fitted in the female rule.

As a nun, i thought i will not have to deal with this theme anymore. one is just what one is, a seeker on the path to truth.
But, sad as it is, as a nun one has to deal almost even more with it. Not because of the buddhas teachings, but because of peoples views.

Some men have that insulting idea that all women are clinging monsters.
Or they say women cannot parc a car or talk for hours on phone with their friends. Or whatever, there are hundrets of such views.

I just still don't fit into this sceme. [although i have to confess that i'm still very attached to the dog ... wuahhhh! Am i a female clinging mother monster then]

Mae chee phalanyani on her path to truth is not interested in fighting for female rights anymore nor will she try to change men's or monk's views about me or women. May they deal with their views and fears themselfs.
No time to be wasted for this.
There is something more important to do. Practice! Learn to let go. Let go. gone forth.

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