Friday, January 23, 2009


Weard things are happening.
i'll write more about monatic birthdayparties later.
All my life i loved birthdaycake, i have to mention that first.
Somehow i do not understand the sense of birthdaycake anymore.
One very ambitioned woman here was staying up all night; with a friednds help she was baking all night through, and managed somehow in a small mae chee's kuti's kitchen to prepare cake and "rote gruetze" [a cooked fruitcoctail] for 100 monks, 50 mae chees and many meditators.
a small piece for everyone.
After 4 hours of sleep [the inauguration of a new building lasted until midnight] i was prepared to help. Decoration of tiny pices of cake in little paper nests on big trays. Nice meditative job.
Then carrying all out and watch that not all would be eaten up before the official breakfast started.
Then to note seeing, wandering, angry, let go, amused, let go, ... by watching laypeople, nuns and monks get carried away by greed. It was not necessary to offer to monks or novices, they helped themselfs, not loosing time by clinging onto rites. I was not less greedy than everybody else and at a certain point, after having given to the abbot, i was overwhelmded and took my part [more than 1 tiny pice]. I tried to chew long and not to eat all at once, after swallowing i waited, curious how long the taste and satisfection will last. Before a minute was over, the taste changed and was not "good" anymore. it was still ok, but not satisfying anymore. The wish to have more arouse and was not satisfied, so displeasure arouse, meanwhile the taste had faded away, more displeasure arouse and with it the wanting more increased. I was about to take another of these little sweets my companions had worked so hard for all night, when i remembered that anger about other peoples greed arouse when i observed them taking more than 2 -3 pices. Same rights for everyone, no more cake [today].
At lunchtime the fruitcocktail had to be served with icecream. We prepared the for the yogie's, for the mae chee's and than, i had the job to prepare it for the monks [who loved it] and samanaras served at the tables.
arm bending and streching, fingers closing and opening, back bending and rising up ... i noted, no need for wanting, wanting.
Could i give up desires ???
No, later in the afternoon i was invited to come to a privat breakfast tomorrow morning, cake and gruetze will be served. :o)

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