Wednesday, January 14, 2009

one more night ...

Meditation is going quite well, as far as it seems. There are moments of extreme tiredness and those of great clearness. Most of the time it's just peaceful with very little thinking.
i slept sitting for half an houre during evening chanting, woke up and felt horribly tierd. Did stumbeling meditation instead of walking.

I noticed at night, that companion monk was not at home. He left after lunch and did not come back as it seems.
Nuns are not suppose to stay alone in the forest, i could eventually go back to si pah doo ... But 1. It's a bhikkhuni rule, i'm a mae chee maybe this rule does not count for me here, 2. I'm not afraid, it's not deep in the forest anyway and 3. someone has to feed the dog. [the dog was scared alone, that's how i noticed]
O.k. I'll stay here for now and see when he comes back. But i have to consider if it is wise to continue determination being alone. I don't feel like freeking out, but who knows.
If i'm breaking a rule, by staying - i'm sorry.
i don't want to interrupt practice for that, neither mine nor someone elses.

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