For one happy day i had thought i had found someone who was willing to give me bhikkhuni ordination after 2 years being mae chii, which would be next summer, accepting my being mae chii as the samaneri-time.
What a joy at heart!
I was ready to pack my robe and bowl to leave to sri lanka.
Next morning the dream was over. It was just an illusion. As actually everything is. Disenchantment.
But disenchantment is kind of a helpful state for someone who wants to see clearly. One looks at situations as they really are.
This is a mens world. Monks are men. And most of them are too busy with other things and don't find the time to study the Dhamma, Abhidhamma and read the vinaya, so they are not to blame that they don't understand.
Just a stupid coincidence that they are in a position to rule and control womens affairs.