The other day Ajahn told me to read in my heart because the abhidhamma is there, sais he.
So i dared a closer look today at the part of heart that is the jail [was writing about feeling like going into jail earlier ...].
Ouuuu!
Had some kind of weird vision when i approached and opend the imaginary door to my heart.
Phsiummm - a knife came flying. Looking around from a safe place i saw 3 little girls, one almost a kripple, bended back a stuttering, a shy one, injured. another one insane, with eyes open wide, silent motionless but about to jump up furiouse for defense. The third one horrified, terrified hiding in a corner not able to breath of fear to be seen lurking for escape.
Poor little ones.
First monsters now girls, wonder what else i keep hidden there.
These things i see are not real, and when i say 'seeing, seeing, seeing' they dissapear. they are mere reflections of mindstates and help me to understand where to work next.
Last night i stayed awake long and meditated, on a walk through the monastery in the very early morning i saw light in some rooms, people awake like me and practicing.
the resume of this night: the experiences on makes, deeds one does and thoughts one thinks leave a print in mind, like a thumb leaves a print on glass. thus mind accumulates 'good' and 'bad' of ones experiences, thoughts and deeds. as a result one thinks one is such and such a person with such and such a character. But in reality one is just the sum of experiences, thoughts and deeds which are repeated because mind flows the known way, like water flows the same stream.
body and mind are depending on eachother and are both very limited.
anger can be transformed into loving-kindness, when catched at the very beginning, before anger manifests itself and leaves its print and a mental or/and physikal reaction.
Greed, wanting can be overcome by being restaint.
For both it is essential to have right understanding, right effort and right mindfulness.
I slept a little and had a short meditation before breakfast.
Now, make theory practice, phalañani.
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path to truth - diary of a Buddhist nun
The Buddha said:
So hard to see, so very, very subtle, alighting wherever it likes: the mind. The wise should guard it. The mind protected brings ease.
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About
- Phalañānī
- former actrice and comedian for a long time quit stage and audience some years ago to live a peaceful and quiet life in a small village in spain. Actually i'm ordained as a theravada buddhist nun.
Readers
Karania Metta Sutta
This is what should be done By one who is skilled in goodness, And who knows the path of peace: Let them be able and upright, Straightforward and gentle in speech, Humble and not conceited, Contented and easily satisfied, Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways. Peaceful and calm and wise and skillful, Not proud or demanding in nature. Let them not do the slightest thing That the wise would later reprove. Wishing: In gladness and in safety, May all beings be at ease. Whatever living beings there may be; Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none, The great or the mighty, medium, short or small, The seen and the unseen, Those living near and far away, Those born and to-be-born — May all beings be at ease! Let none deceive another, Or despise any being in any state. Let none through anger or ill-will Wish harm upon another. Even as a mother protects with her life Her child, her only child, So with a boundless heart Should one cherish all living beings; Radiating kindness over the entire world: Spreading upwards to the skies, And downwards to the depths; Outwards and unbounded, Freed from hatred and ill-will. Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down Free from drowsiness, One should sustain this recollection. This is said to be the sublime abiding. By not holding to fixed views, The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision, Being freed from all sense desires, Is not born again into this world.
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