Last night was the hardest night since long. At least since i was sitting in front of the buddhastatues crying and taking farewell of the world because i thought i was dying.
Last night i realized that i can't help my mother, my brother and sister and dog. Especially mother and dog ... I feel so responsable for them and want to help them. How nice.
But it's selfish clinging. Tztztz.
It's not that they can't live without me, rather i can't live without them. What is the wish to help - the wish to control. Same as the worries the other day.
The point is not to not love them, but to love them in a way without clinging.