Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
visuddhimagga
the path of purification. this wonderful book i was donated and sent from andrew from the uk. for the limited english that i can read and write the translation which i have now of bhikkhu nyanamoli [i dont have the "nye", this ~ above the n so i write words like n~anamoli or phalan~ani = nyanamoli, phalanyani] is much easier to understand.
have i mentioned that i feel very fortunate? actually everyone is fortunate, one just has to see it and to be content with life is giving.
have i mentioned that i feel very fortunate? actually everyone is fortunate, one just has to see it and to be content with life is giving.
welcome
my mother! a big hug! is in her 70ties and now got a notebook and is able to write e-mail and to follow my blog. i am very happy and proud of her.
being educated by my mother was not easy as a child and youth but that's past and it prepared me well for the life i'm living now and even for the buddhas teaching. this is the best reason to be grateful.
she cares for the still-my-beloved-dog which is another reason to be very grateful.
being educated by my mother was not easy as a child and youth but that's past and it prepared me well for the life i'm living now and even for the buddhas teaching. this is the best reason to be grateful.
she cares for the still-my-beloved-dog which is another reason to be very grateful.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
29 monks
a nun and a lot of lay people were gatherd in the half ready but already beautiful buddhahall. 28 th aniversary of the monastery.
the first surprise was, that nuns were named: phra [monk], mae chii [nun], upasaka, upasika [lay], in a speach of a monk, very unusual, nuns existence usually is not mentioned.
second surprise was,
after interfearing of a lay woman, i was seperated from layity and asked to sit with monkscushion right behind the abbot who was sitting on a higher seat, monks left and right on the walls, on podests, as usual, laypeople were sitting on the floor in the middle back part. thats a quite typical sitting orden for ceremonies.
in front of ajahns seat was another, ever higher seat for ajahn's teacher who was the point of concentration that evening.
after i prostrated to him from far, he came for a chat, a short one due to my limited thai speaking skills. he was pleased of how i prostrate, sit in meditation, behave [surprise]. than the chanting started, i could join in to the abhidhamma and some parittas. i still haven't memorised them entirely but to chant with others it's ok.
the monks were offerd some water, hot ovaltine, soymilk ... [no surprise at all]. i meditated most of the time but i was very hungry and my stomac made noises.
i thought, with a touch of bitterness, i confess "good that some nuns have learned to be restained, patient and without envy."
at the end of the ceremony the monks received some gifts, put in front of them and offered by the people. suddnly just before i wanted to close eyes for meditation again, a little tray with offerings were given to me [next surprise] and i joined the choire of the blessings.
the first surprise was, that nuns were named: phra [monk], mae chii [nun], upasaka, upasika [lay], in a speach of a monk, very unusual, nuns existence usually is not mentioned.
second surprise was,
after interfearing of a lay woman, i was seperated from layity and asked to sit with monkscushion right behind the abbot who was sitting on a higher seat, monks left and right on the walls, on podests, as usual, laypeople were sitting on the floor in the middle back part. thats a quite typical sitting orden for ceremonies.
in front of ajahns seat was another, ever higher seat for ajahn's teacher who was the point of concentration that evening.
after i prostrated to him from far, he came for a chat, a short one due to my limited thai speaking skills. he was pleased of how i prostrate, sit in meditation, behave [surprise]. than the chanting started, i could join in to the abhidhamma and some parittas. i still haven't memorised them entirely but to chant with others it's ok.
the monks were offerd some water, hot ovaltine, soymilk ... [no surprise at all]. i meditated most of the time but i was very hungry and my stomac made noises.
i thought, with a touch of bitterness, i confess "good that some nuns have learned to be restained, patient and without envy."
at the end of the ceremony the monks received some gifts, put in front of them and offered by the people. suddnly just before i wanted to close eyes for meditation again, a little tray with offerings were given to me [next surprise] and i joined the choire of the blessings.
Friday, June 19, 2009
back
it was nice to come back already on the bus - houses got less, trees more. it is a relief to be here, to be surrounded by nature sounds, this noiseproof-city-citisen-ears know the value of nature sounds.
when i arrived with the bus one of the villagers came runnig with a parcel which arrived while i was away. [again, thank you! andrew.] some known people greeted from far, after arriving at the monastery the dogs almost went crazy of joy to see me again and even the mosquitoes where happy to have me back with tasty farang blood and came in swarms. lumpoh was happy as well and showed me the new trees that were planted on the templeground.
tomorrow i'm invited to another monastery's 28th aniversery. i'll stay over night, but after that i'll stay here, meditate, studiy [thank you, andrew] the visuddhimagga and try to find out what comes next.
i'm invited to stay for the rainyseason [vassa] in a wat in the city. it may be wise to stay there for the 3 month rain retreat. hard desicion. i can help them there and i need their help for the next visa [if i stay that long in thailand] and maybe this elder, stubborn recluse can overcome her aversion against crowded monasteries.
to practice with teacher has some benefits, as well, i admitt.
have i ever said i gave up the wanting to teach dhamma and to become an arahant? well, that was hasty said. :o) these are the only things that make sense, the only goals worth going for. with luck i have 20 - 30 years left to do and to go for. there is no time to waste. and i should go to where i'm given the chance to teach and to practice.
when i arrived with the bus one of the villagers came runnig with a parcel which arrived while i was away. [again, thank you! andrew.] some known people greeted from far, after arriving at the monastery the dogs almost went crazy of joy to see me again and even the mosquitoes where happy to have me back with tasty farang blood and came in swarms. lumpoh was happy as well and showed me the new trees that were planted on the templeground.
tomorrow i'm invited to another monastery's 28th aniversery. i'll stay over night, but after that i'll stay here, meditate, studiy [thank you, andrew] the visuddhimagga and try to find out what comes next.
i'm invited to stay for the rainyseason [vassa] in a wat in the city. it may be wise to stay there for the 3 month rain retreat. hard desicion. i can help them there and i need their help for the next visa [if i stay that long in thailand] and maybe this elder, stubborn recluse can overcome her aversion against crowded monasteries.
to practice with teacher has some benefits, as well, i admitt.
have i ever said i gave up the wanting to teach dhamma and to become an arahant? well, that was hasty said. :o) these are the only things that make sense, the only goals worth going for. with luck i have 20 - 30 years left to do and to go for. there is no time to waste. and i should go to where i'm given the chance to teach and to practice.
retreat
never before have i practiced so much and so intense meditation. before i started i told them that i will not speak, exept in the reporting room. i received a "keeping silence" button which was really helpful. lot's of people asked about phra noah, about nadya [she went to see a friend - i wasn't talking anyway] about my brown robes and where i come from etc. and i could just point at the button on my chest and depart friendly smiling face to ground in slow motion.
the first day i did 12 hours meditation and 6 hours sleep. then 14/5 for 3 days, then 16/4 until no sleep for 2 days in the end.
walking and sitting by turns.
still i'm far, far away from the goal - the freedom from suffering. but i did understand some about the anatta and the sunyata deaper than before. it had helped a lot to learn a bit about the abhidhamma before going on retreat.
i'm told to study the abhidhamma and develop stronger mental power.
i saw, as well, which are the biggest obstacles on my path.
dog's amongst it.
before i went the thought occured to me if i eventually will be one day invited to help to set up a meditation center in america. and on determination this thought arose again with other thoughts about the direction in which it may be wise to turn the next step.
the most astonishing that happend during course was that one moment during meditation i suddenly jumped up, took my robe folded it and put it on like the monks do, with the folded part on the shoulder. the interesting point in it is, that i have never done it before and nobody ever showed me how to do it. so i was very surprised to notice me standing there in robes in the middle of the room.
the first day i did 12 hours meditation and 6 hours sleep. then 14/5 for 3 days, then 16/4 until no sleep for 2 days in the end.
walking and sitting by turns.
still i'm far, far away from the goal - the freedom from suffering. but i did understand some about the anatta and the sunyata deaper than before. it had helped a lot to learn a bit about the abhidhamma before going on retreat.
i'm told to study the abhidhamma and develop stronger mental power.
i saw, as well, which are the biggest obstacles on my path.
dog's amongst it.
before i went the thought occured to me if i eventually will be one day invited to help to set up a meditation center in america. and on determination this thought arose again with other thoughts about the direction in which it may be wise to turn the next step.
the most astonishing that happend during course was that one moment during meditation i suddenly jumped up, took my robe folded it and put it on like the monks do, with the folded part on the shoulder. the interesting point in it is, that i have never done it before and nobody ever showed me how to do it. so i was very surprised to notice me standing there in robes in the middle of the room.
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