lifes surprises

After 2 years in Thailand I come to know that the relation between women and men are much easier here in Europe. It is a relief, to be honest.
I met my brother and family, friends, old neighbors had my feet in the ocean and a birthday retreat with a friend whom I know since long. We worked for the same company and she starts to discover Buddhism. What a joy to help her with this task.

journey

I'm still on the journey, meeting friends and family, seeing places that I used to love and miss.
15 days ago I met my dog, I was concerned before that whatever might happen. In the end it turned out that it send clear signals that it likes my mother and wants to stay with her. For her it is very good as well to have it because she needs to walk.
A great detachment and disillusion took place. And a joy. Not that I love anybody or anything less than before, in contrary almost.
It is this compassion and love that makes the detachment so joyful.

It might happen that I can receive Bhikkhuni ordination in August. The option of ordaining in July is canceled so far, or better said postponed to next spring. August is another option. Not confirmed. But it is an option and I will go back to California for the vassa, where a ordination ceremony will take place in August. May I be one of those who receive ordination there and then.

I'm leaving on a jetplane, don't know when I'll be back again

tomorrow in the afternoon I will leave america.
It feels good. Although I loved to meet my family, was happy to make new friends and get to know some very nice nuns, it's time to go. I would prefer to go somewhere into solitude, a retreat would be good. But it's not on the list yet.
Next step Duesseldorf. Seeing my mom and "my" dog again after two years. I will not arrive in a easy, pleasant situation there, thus I know already, but - it could be worse, i guess. Mom is happy to have me back and although she is not in good conditions she sounded strong when I talked to her this morning.
The farewell from Ajaan was short. He didn't look at me and didn't say much, two words if I hadn't asked for a blessing.
:o)
Anyway, he may have his reasons which I don't understand. May he not have any problem with me or anything / anybody else, may he remember me as a loyal friend and succeed in his strive to get a meditation center. It seems that I can't help him and then I wont.
I'll go my way and do deeply hope that the postponement of the ordination will somehow be canceled and that there will be an ordination for me before this vassa.

hehehe :o)))))
perception ... :o) it really works in a funny way and men's perceptions are genuinely working different than women's. :o)
A man had thought I'm in love with him. Even if this man would match in age and anything else, which is not the case and even if he would be attractive, which he is not (ok,ok, that's relative, subject to personal tastes and views) - I'm a nun and happy menopausing.
We were talking about it the other day with some women (the menopause, not the man)... sexual interest has just gone and that's perfect, well at least for the nun, for others it causes some problems once in a while.
I have come to the conclusion that some men have just too much self esteem and are overvaluing their potential of attraction to women.
None the less, I love you guys, 'unerotic', unconditioned, as the beings that you are. :o)

a blessing

here is suppose to be a link don't know if it works it shall lead to a blessing
http://www.4shared.com/audio/dwvvNYML/culla-mangala-cakka-vala.html

first try to publish 'taking refuge'

http://www.4shared.com/file/ZD_8cRqS/Triple_Gem.html

http://www.4shared.com/file/80KJVxQ3/taking_refuge.html

recorded blessing

today I found out how to record with my computer. Wanted to send a blessing and the going for refuge to the triple gem for the soon coming Vesakh day (28.5. this year) ... now I just have to figure out how to add an mp3 file to the blog :o)